Naughty Fangirl

Debbie Icons :0)

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:41:10 GMT

Hi Debbie,

Here are the icons you wanted. If you want them then they are yours - if you don't - no worries you don't have to - I won't be offended. :0)

No thanks or anything needed. I am happy to make any you want anytime if I can.

Just right click and save them onto your computer and then upload to LJ if wanted. Tried to make it as smooth as possible. I am sorry I could not find a red heart on black background so ended up with red/pink on white for Simon icon. Sorry!

Icon 1:

Icon 2:

Love Ostia x

Freinds cut and community cut.

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:15:07 GMT

Hi everyone!

So today I doing something I really hate doing.  I am about to do a friends cut.

I was looking at my friends list these past few weeks and I realised I have no idea who some of you are really. Which for something called a 'friends list', it seems a shame.

This cut is for those who I never chat with in any way shape or form, or those of you who are no longer active at LJ for some time, or those of you whose interests have changed.

I realised reading back through the past few months posts at LJ, I had shared some very personal things that I do not want to be seen by people who have no interest in personal things to do with me or might be uncomfortable with reading it.

For these reasons alone I think it is time for me to remove some friends from my list where you may no longer have an interest in my LJ,  we we no longer chat or it may be that I added you but was never added back .

Whatever the reason, it is not meant to upset anyone!

I know you are all great people but we may simply no longer have anything in common. I hope I will see you around any communities we both go to and can chat there if that is where our shared interests lie. I wish you the best for whatever it is you are doing now and for the year ahead.

Anyway - hope everyone understands! :0)

If I do cut you but you still wish to be friends please comment on this post and I can add you back if you really want to be pat of my freindslist.   I understand some people may just be busy in real life and are not around LJ much :0)

Love, Ostia x

PS:

If you were only at my LJ for the fan stuff I create such as icons, fanfics and fanvideos - then those will be x-posted at the communities as normal and also in the new community I am in the middle of creating - so if it is just the fanstuff you want access to then you can always join my new community instead:

secret_fangirl

Fun Film Meme :0) I've seen 133 of these 168 movies

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:18:51 GMT

Okay. I liked this one and couldn;t resist doing it. I borrowed this meme from katelove12 :0)

Put "I've seen ____ of these 168 movies" in the subject line and repost. If you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 168 movies on this list.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
(x) Braveheart

Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total: 10

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 6

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots

Total: 17

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt (unfortunately)
(x) KING KONG

Total: 9

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total: 13

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 7

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total: 9

(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total: 10

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
(x) My Boss's Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 12

(x) My Best Friend's Wedding
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( x) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total: 14

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total: 14

(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total: 4

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have seen 133 of these films. Well it is official then - I have no life. LMAO

There were a few I was unsure on. Some I may have seen - I thought I recognised the titles of some but didn't tick them because I can't remember if I saw them or not or was just recognising the title. I only marked the ones I was sure of. ;0)

A lifetime of Betryals - Benjamin Linus Fanfiction

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:42:53 GMT

Author: Ostia2006
Title: A Lifetime of Betrayals
Pairing: Ben Linus - character focus
Rating: PG
Summary: Ben's life has been filled with betrayal. Those betrayals moulded him into the man he is today. A man he never wanted to be. Written in 1st person from Ben's point of view.

Also posted at Henrygalelovers :0)

A Lifetime of Betrayals

I stand before the mirror looking at my reflection. The man I see is not one I like. I was never meant to be this man. My fingers reach out and trace the outline of the man reflected. It is as if the man in the mirror is someone else entirely. I had wanted to be oh so different to my father. All I wanted when I was younger was to be respected, loved and cared for. Benjamin Linus, me, is not that man anymore. A life of betrayals has helped to warp that young hopeful man forever more. The Benjamin Linus I had longed to be was lost to time.

I feel my knees give out. I slide down the wall and rest my head on my knees. Recalling my life, flashes before my eyes. Memories washing over me.

When I was a child I had dreamed of being everything my father was not. But the harder I tried the worse things became. Each time I trusted, I was betrayed. Each betrayal shattering me further, causing my heart to ache until I was no longer able to feel such intense pain.   I have ended up betraying myself and my own dreams by becoming a man far worse than my father ever could have been.

The earliest betryal in my life was my mother's death. She died. Why hadn't she clung on to life for me. Her death led to a childhood of misery and grief. My father may never have laid a hand on me, but his words caused more damage than his fists ever could. My father blamed me for my mother's death. His cool harsh treatment of me, the way he said my name 'Ben' as if it made him sick to the stomach, made my heart break. Then he took me to the island.

Everyone Icared for and loved, betrayed me one by one.

I try to block out their voices, try to shut my eyes to the images, but it is still seared into my mind, each and every betrayal. Each one reminding me of what I had lost. The memories playing over and over again in my head, tormenting me. Unable to lock them out, I lie on the floor waiting for the light of day to scare them away again. Once in a while, in a rare moment of weakness, my heart is unlocked and I the pain returns. But I try to fight against it as long as I can.    But on nights like this, alone, tired and with a fresh betrayal just hours old, I cannot help but give in. Tomorrow I will once again be the hated Benjamin Linus. The man with many secrets, the man who is feared, the man who leads the others. Tomorrow I will project my false facade to ensure what needs to be done, is achieved. No one but me will ever mourn the loss of the once innocnet Benjamin Linus.

Moonlight floods my room, I begin to drift to sleep, with my life of betrayals haunting me. It is as if they are spoken outloud even though it is all in my mind.......

"....You killed your mother...."

"....Annie's dead Ben, she died in childbirth...."

"....You have cancer Ben.......You lied to me....."

"....I want you to know how your going to die...."

"...I'm stopping the operation. He will die in 1 hour unless you give me what I want....."

"...Juliet wanted you dead...."

"...I hate you. I wish you were dead. I don't care what happens to you....."

"...He's taking you to see Jacob..........You'll need this gun John....."

"...Juilet told them we were coming..."

THE END

Okay - not the most cheerful of fics I know! LOL But I wrote this ages ago and wanted to finally type it up so it wasn't stuck in the back of my mind anymore.

Hope you like it. :0)

Friend List Cut and LJ change :0)

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:51:46 GMT

Hey everyone!

I thought it was time for a change at my LJ :0)

So today I have changed my LJ layout, left some of the communities I no longer visit and I am about to do a friends cut.

I have never removed communties or friends before. I only joined LJ about 6 months ago and since then I have made some lovely friends along the way.

My LJ is quite different to what I thought it would ever be. My posts have become more frequent,  personal, explicit and my discussions are often NC-17 rated. For these reasons alone I think it is time for me to remove friends from my list who do not share the same interests/thoughts as I do anymore.  Or people who do not wish to comment on my LJ and vice versa because we are now different to when we first became friends. Or it may be that I added you but was never added back . Whatever the reason it is not meant to upset anyone. All this does is allow me to ensure my posts are for friends who have an interest in my journal and wish to be part of it.

I just want to be happy that my posts are private and are being read by the people who I know well. Most of you I know very well and those are the ones who will obviously stay on my friends list :0)

If I do cut you but you still wish to be friends please comment on this post and I can add you back.   I understand some people may just be busy in real life and are not around LJ much :0)

If you do comment then I will screen comments to begin with so that only you and I can see it at first :0)